WHY YOU WANNA HURT ME?

Several months ago I decided that 2010 was going to be a breakout year for me. To be fair, around November of every year, I proclaim that next year will be THE year. You know what I mean. All my big plans will finally come together. All the sacrifices will seem worth it and I can walk around with a big smile and a smug confidence that says, “you people thought I was crazy but now you see the genius of my master plan.” Okay I don’t really say things like that to myself. But I just might IF my master plan ever does come together. Problem is, I don’t have a master plan. I should really get one of those.

In the meantime, I will just have to keep doing what I have always done. I will make questionable decisions and then spend lots of time justifying them to myself and others. I will try to remain open to new ideas, new people and new experiences. I will try very hard to “DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING”. This simple yet elegant saying has been my guide for quite a while. It reminds me that if I plan too far in advance, I get distracted and I lose focus. I try to skip ahead so I can hurry up and get to the “good part”. This never works for me because I eventually realize that the “good part” is what happens every day while I am trying to reach the goal. So in 2010, I will try to complete the task that is right in front of me and trust that the future will present itself to me when the time is right.

One of my stated goals for 2010 is to make myself uncomfortable. That sounds strange I guess. Usually I just make other people uncomfortable. What I mean to say is that in 2010 I want to try things that have an equal chance of success and failure. Too often, it becomes easy to keep doing the same things again and again because I know the result will be positive. What I really want this year is to be scared. I want that feeling that can only come from the uncertainty of unknown outcomes. It’s edgy and sensitive. It’s like that intense anxiety that comes from starting a new job or dating a new person. Of course it would be easier to take the simple well traveled path but where is the fun in that?

Recently, I was the invited speaker at a marathon and I was asking the audience to raise their hands based on the number of marathons completed. I finally got it down to one runner who had run 79 marathons. He was a nice guy and running had really shaped the person he is today. I asked him if he had any doubt whatever about being able to finish tomorrow’s marathon. With genuine pride he answered, “no doubt at all”. Then I asked him if he could remember having doubts when he ran his first marathon and he replied with an emphatic “YES”. I said, “don’t you miss that feeling?” There is nothing like the feeling of getting to experience something for the first time. In fact, I think that most of us spend our entire lives trying to replicate past feelings. First love, first car, first job and first marathon. But can never really recapture the genuine organic feeling that accompanied the first time.

But we can continue to push ourselves farther and faster. The point is that I want to test myself in 2010. I don’t want to run races where I am guaranteed to do well, whatever that means. I don’t want to feed my ego by playing it safe. If I can complete my first running of the HURT 100, I will be off to a really good start. www.hurt100trailrace.com

I arrived in Honolulu on Wednesday January 13th at about 6:00 PM. I had gained 5 hours from my starting point in North Carolina. I don’t know why we say we “gain”
time when we travel west. In fact, we borrow time because we will have to give it back eventually. Anyway, when I landed, I had that groggy crappy sluggish feel that one gets with too many hours of breathing germ infested manufactured air. I was also more than a little distressed by what I saw from the air when we were on approach into Honolulu airport. I saw mountains and lots of them. In fact, it seemed that the entire island was a mountain. I have been to Hawaii before and of course I realize that the Hawaiian Islands are volcanic. I just never cared before because in the past I was either coming for Ironman or to lay on a beach. But this time I realized that I better care because I knew that I would be in those mountains doing battle in a couple of days.

My friend Jody was foolish enough to agree to come along on this trip as crew person and pacer and caretaker for after the race. She is a really good runner and adventure racer so I knew that she would would make sure I made it home, even if it was in a wheelchair. I woke up on Thursday morning and immediately found coffee. The plan for the day was to find the race course and at least check out a small section, maybe run a few miles. For months I had been reading about the difficulty of the course at HURT and I needed to see it for myself. Secretly I hoped that I would get to the course and find that the harshness of the terrain had been greatly embellished. Runners just love to tell stories of hardship so I thought maybe this was one of those times. Seriously, how hard could the HURT course really be?

We jumped in the car and drove to the Rocks and Roots trail near the Nature Center at Manoa, just outside of Waikiki. We followed a couple of signs to the start of the trail and began to make our way up the cushy tourist part of the trail. You know what I mean. This part of the trail is built so that tourists can come out and say they did some hiking. Smooth ground with nice built up steps and nicely groomed trails. Okay, that part lasts about a minute and then the fun begins. Rocks and Roots almost sounds cute when you say it but it was not cute to run on. After a couple of miles, I was already saying to myself, “the whole race can’t be like this….can it?” Never ask questions like that even if they are only rhetorical and to yourself. I already knew the answer. I better go get some rest.

The race briefing was held on Friday afternoon at the start/finish area at the Nature Center at Manoa. The briefing was just that; brief. It is very unusual for a race director to keep it short during the briefing. Jeff Huff and John Salmonson shared the duties of telling racers about what they could expect at HURT. I really didn’t hear much of what they said except for these few key words; rocks, roots, blisters, dehydration, elevation, thong (that may have been my own thought), blood, rain, hallucinations, wild pigs, lost, and pain. I already knew this race would be tough for me. I was listening to all of the runners talk about the course and I felt like I was the only one there that hadn’t actually run the loop before. I certainly didn’t have anything like this to train on in North Carolina.

The course for HURT is a little wacky but it is marked very well. As long as the runner pays attention to the colored flags along the route, then it’s tough to get lost. The race consists of 5 loops of 20 miles with about 5,000’ feet of elevation gain per loop and an equal amount of loss since it is a loop course. The course has three sections and each section is marked with different colors of tape. Manoa Park to Paradise Park was 7.3 miles and marked with white, Paradise Park to Jackass Ginger was 5.4 miles and marked with green and Jackass Ginger back to the Nature Center was 7.3 miles marked with Orange. Some sections doubled back on themselves which was great because it gives each runner the chance to see other runners along the way. Although after seeing some runners about a dozen times, I ran out of things to say. Kind of like passing coworkers in the hall. “Hey Dave, how about those Red Sox?” Eventually I only had enough energy for a grunt and a nod anyway.

The course itself is stunningly beautiful, alternating between lush dense rainforest and expansive vistas. The ground is infested with roots. The worst sections last for a couple hundred meters and make the runners look as if their feet are on fire, trying to pick their way through a maze of hot lava. It is pretty funny to watch and not funny at all to run. Other sections are rock strewn switchbacks that seem to last for hours and slow the pace significantly whether going up or down. This is a tough course but the beauty of the area makes it well worth it. Or at least that what I tell myself.

The race started at 6:00 AM in the dark so it was necessary to have a headlamp. For me, I have had great success with Princeton Tec through the years. www.princetontec.com I use the EOS model because it will light up the entire forest. This is not a course where a little halogen light will work, at least not for me. I was determined to be conservative on the first loop so I quickly dropped behind the first 20 or so runners and found my comfortable pace. After about an hour, the sun was providing enough light so that the headlamp was no longer needed. I stuffed it into my Nathan pack www.nathansports.com and kept moving to the first checkpoint at Paradise Park. The aid station was amazingly well stocked with great food and drink. More importantly it was loaded with enthusiastic volunteers that would take care of everything a runner could want. There is almost nothing better than running into an aid station. It reminds me that am actually making progress and it never fails to motivate me. The only down side to a cushy aid station is that I have to be careful not to stay too long. I try not to sit down because it will feel too good and I might be tempted to stay longer. My goal was to spend a maximum of 3 minutes at a checkpoint and I think I managed to do that most of the time.

So now I was loaded up with my own special mixture of Infinit Nutrition www.infinitnutrition.com products and some gummi bears. The route between Paradise Park and Jackass Ginger was basically more of the same. Tons of climbing and descending and plenty of obstacles. During this leg, I met up with Master Diver John Klukas and we began to talk. It always amazes me how quickly ultra runners will start to share intimate details with perfect strangers. In just a couple of hours of running together, we covered a lot of history and opinions. I think that ultra runners just naturally trust the fact that we are all similar in some core ways. Why else would we seek pain and suffering in the woods for no other reason than to learn more about ourselves. Talking to John really helped to pass the time and before we knew it, we were finished with the first loop. I was probably a little faster than I wanted to be at about 4 1/2 hours. I had no doubt that I would be slowing down as the race progressed.

Jody was there with a change of shoes and some clean Balega Socks. www.balegasports.com She encouraged me to eat and then asked me a very funny question, “is it as bad as they say?” I think I laughed out loud. She was dying to get out on the course and she would get her chance as long as I made it to the 4th and 5th loops. Pacers are allowed on the course but only from mile 60 and after.

I left the start for my second loop feeling pretty good. John left a little after me and ultimately I did not see him again during the race. I found out later that he had been involved in a small collision with a hiker and that he had been launched over the edge of the trail. At HURT, many of the trails sit on the edge of steep drops so leaving the trail involuntarily is a bad thing for sure. John tweaked his knee and had a nice abrasion on his head from the tree that stopped his fall. His race was over. I felt badly when I heard the news because he was really poised to have a good race. I have no doubt that he will return for another try.

I pushed pretty hard through loop two and managed to finish in 4 hrs 51 minutes. I took one wrong turn which cost me about 10 minutes and some stress but otherwise I had no real problems. I was really happy that I was not having any stomach issues. Ever since I switched to Infinit, I seem to just digest better in long races. I think the high fructose corn syrup in most drinks is what always hindered absorption for me. Infinit seems to have solved that problem. www.infinitnutrition.com

I spent about 10 minutes at Manoa getting resupplied and changing shoes and socks again. I covered myself with Mission Skincare SPF and more importantly I covered some important areas with Mission Anti Friction cream. www.missionskincare.com That stuff saves my ass every time (pun intended). Jody handed me a soda and some cookies. I don’t eat much processed sugar in my normal life so when I drink a soda, it works like rocket fuel. Unfortunately I can crash like a rocket too.

Loop 3 was more of the same. Beauty and pain, running and walking, singing to myself and hoping that nobody else could hear me, chatting with other runners and looking forward to each checkpoint. Ever since the first loop, Jody had been making her way to each checkpoint to cheer me on and to make sure I was eating and drinking enough. It is amazing how a friendly smiling face can really make a difference. And all along the 3rd loop, I knew that Jody would be waiting to join in on the fun for the 4th loop. I finished loop 3 in 5 hrs 38 minutes so I was losing time each loop but I was doing my best so I tried not to worry.

Before the race, I made a very outlandish proclamation. I said that my goal for HURT would be to run loop 4 as fast as I ran during loop 1. Okay, the idea behind this thinking was solid. I figured that I would be conservative on loop 1 and set an achievable goal for loop 4. But I really underestimated the difficulty of the course and the fact that loop 4 would take place in the dark. I was immediately uplifted by having Jody’s company and we moved out at a good pace. But there is something about running at night that just seems to force a slower tempo. At this point I had been running for about 15 hours and I was tired but feeling okay. Not too far into the loop, I encountered a problem. I had forgotten to put new batteries into my headlamp before the race. This is a serious rookie mistake. So my light was fading fast and I wasn’t carrying extra batteries.

We made it to the first checkpoint and were able to snag some batteries from a kind volunteer. We took off and shortly thereafter, my light began to die again. I knew it wasn’t the light itself so it must be the batteries again. One problem with batteries, even new ones, is that they can be unpredictable. I know this so why wasn’t I carrying extra batteries? Not a smart move.

So now I became the “panhandling runner”. Everyone that I saw on the trail became a target. “Hey, you are looking strong. Do you happen to have any extra batteries?” It was like the old “hey buddy, do you have any spare change?” Yea right, I keep my “real” change in my right pocket and my “spare” change in my left. If a runner has extra batteries, it’s because they might need them. They aren’t carrying them just for fun. But I had no choice. I had to ask because we were going to be running without light soon. Jody’s light was also not doing well or she would have just handed me hers and sent me on my way. After about a dozen or so solicitations with no luck, I finally found a generous donor. Geoff Hanson and his pacer Troy were more than willing to help. As it turns out, Geoff was on pace to finish 6th overall. He definitely picked up some good karma by taking time out to help me. We might still be out there if they hadn’t helped.

Now that I had a strong light again, I could really pick up the pace. Actually that did not happen. We poked along and just kept moving. Jody was patient with me and just moved forward, not allowing me to wallow in self pity. We finished with a loop that was about 7 hours, the slowest yet. But more importantly, I only had one loop remaining. I was ready to get this over with.

Loop 5 started around 4:00 AM for me so I still had a few hours before daylight. As I reached the Paradise checkpoint, I noticed a couple of runners that I had seen many times during the race. My competitive instincts kicked in a bit and I began to wonder if we were on the same loop. Maybe I could catch them. I left the checkpoint about 10 minutes later, determined to keep a good pace. A few minutes later, two other runners passed me going into Paradise and I realized that they were very close behind me. The mind of a runner is a strange and complex thing. One minute I was motivated by gaining a place in the ranking. In the next moment, I was running even harder, utterly motivated by the fear of being caught. I seem to focus better when I am running scared. I have no idea what that says about me. Probably that I am ego driven and more than a little insecure. Ouch.

Anyway, I continued to motor through loop 5. About halfway through, the sun came up and this helped my attitude. My least favorite part of the course was the long stretch of switchbacks leading out of Jackass Ginger. They just seem to go on and on. By this last loop, my feet were really sore so I was not looking forward to this section. I just kept pushing forward and preparing my mind for one more run up the switchbacks. After about an hour or so, I realized that I only had about 3 miles to go. I was so focused and motivated to finish that I powered right through the switchbacks without even noticing them. My brain and body were fried.

I finished the race in 28 hours and 12 minutes in 10th place overall. Honestly I was so unprepared for this course that I could not have hoped for a better result. I was ecstatic and eagerly kissed the sign at the finish. Jody gave me a huge hug, a big kiss and a really great cup of coffee. I certainly do enjoy running but I truly love stopping.

The HURT (Hawaii Ultra Runners Team) 100 has a reputation as one of the most difficult 100 mile running events in the world. When I first heard about the race a few years ago, I noticed that the usual race roster was not stacked with all of the top names in ultra running. I wondered why. Now I know. It’s one of those races that draws certain runners back again and again. They are drawn to the race itself but more importantly they are drawn to the ritual of it. It is one of these races that feels like a family union. I am now part of the family, albeit as a brother-in-law or distant cousin. The HURT 100 reminded me why I love to run races.

My thanks go out to Jody for her kind and generous support. Also I will say that the entire staff at HURT was just amazing. John, Jeff and PJ made me feel really welcome and the rest of the race staff provided a great example of what it means to volunteer. The HURT 100 is one of the best organized races ever. But they will make you feel like part of the family too. HURT is the best of all the things that the ultra world has to offer.